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Anxious heart

Its not about not having you in my life anymore…
Its not about how I feel exactly the same as I did back then but worse…
Its the fact that back then I got better
And now I’m getting worse and just don’t actually care about anything anymore. I never really thought that my heart belonged to you or any of that soppy crap because that’s not how I saw it, you were my bestfriend and you basically were my heart, whenever I got scared or anxious you were there to hold me up and I was there for you too.
Now I’ve lost that I just don’t know what I’m doing/thinking and I’m definitely not feeling anymore, it’s a horrible thought and I don’t want to die and I’m not going to do anything stupid… But it doesn’t even feel like I’m alive anymore. I don’t enjoy anything. I’m anxious and depressed all the time and worst of all people provably do care enough to talk to but I can only open up to one person and she doesn’t want me around anymore. Feel like I had two hearts and now I’ve got one and being human hasn’t sucked this much in a while. I miss my bestfriend.

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