I honestly hate myself so much when I realize how much of an idiot I was back then and now I hate myself even more because I once litterally pushed away the closest thing to a soulmate I will ever know. Sigh, sick of all of this, I don’t want anyone, not anymore. Don’t want to find someone new. I just wanna change the past and as I cant do that I just don’t wanna have a future. Ugh.