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I don’t want perfect, I want…

Okay so i know i can’t have that, maybe that’s why i want her so much. But you know with a night of all my friends getting brought down by something silly and leaving everything in tatters, i again have nobody to talk to about how I feel. I haven’t felt this content and myself for a long time but at the same time i feel so brittle like a slight wind can shatter me. My feelings are spinning out of control faster than a run away gyroscope. I could easily just ask you on a date and the thing is we could be in a relationship within a week, it would be safe, we’d laugh and have fun being random idiots, we’d complain about all the same things and get closer in our hate of the M word and who knows we’d probably fall in love along the way. i guess it would be perfect for a while. So why don’t I? I’ve always wanted perfect, every time i’ve said i wanted something I will always choose to do the thing i think will lead me to true love and a happily ever after… Except you. You were soooo never the easy option, we’d argue over small things and go crazy at each other and all i’d do is think why am i thinking of this girl when i should be out there chasing the future. I have and always will be an idiot and you know i wont lie. every time i get jealous when you talk about a guy or something like that and i smile it away with a fake smile i have become so damn good at, i cant remember the last time i showed a decent amount of emotion to anyone but the fact you almost had me in tears the other night says alot. I don’t want perfect anymore and to be perfectly honest the opposite of perfect is the happiest I’ve ever been, If you knew the happiest memory of my life you’d call me the biggest idiot. But tickling the crap out of you in a shitty independent entertainment store while onlookers looked baffled and confused we just didn’t care, and i still remember you’re smile and yeah. maybe i’ll settle for perfect. but i’ll always have my memories and no one can take those from me, the best thing to ever happen to me was you.

I hope everyone finds the opposite of perfect and you will find the greatest thing to ever happen to you too!

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