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A warning to my Sub-conscious

So even after a year, A  YEAR! I’m still not over you i guess, i try and try with other girls but half the time I have no feels for them whatsover or the other being they’re already madly in love with someone else… Not like i can really blame them can I.  You know I felt so empty and alone after being stuck out under the rain with no one to turn to and ironically it was you i messaged first without even thinking, but when you were one of the only people to actually geniuenly care i pushed you away because i honestly don’t want you to, if you did i just would rip my head apart from all these crazy insane feelings. Then there’s this amazing and cute lass, who’s stuck in an unhappy relationship and on one handed it’s better for her to end it and stop him hurting her, but i can understand why dhe won’t, she doesnt want to be lonely. Yet every time she puts it like that i read it like ‘I don’t wanna become you’… I really don’t know, sometimes i actually think about that girl and it’d be cool to take her on a date and all taht cutesy crap, then one night I see a pic of you and i just freak out again. You look so happy and i’m like, i really am a fucking idiot. I could never make you that happy could I… I hating pushing you away, not when what i really wanna do is grab you and never let go. I hate the fact my head and heart always collide, and they are literally never in unison. 

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