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This is the end. Hold your breath and count to Ten.

Ok I’m an idiot… Oh you knew?! Well why didn’t you say? So my life is actually going quite good, i mean i actually appear on the radio in my home town weekly now and even live. It feels like I’ve accomplished something. But i feel like hell, hell on earth the hellish breath of Joseph Heller! A year ago, i didn’t even know you, you were just a random add because you saw me in a corridor. Now you occupy like every waking thought! Bleugh! I mean i can even recall every silly little thing you ever said, the way your hair is all crazy and messy, even just being close to you is like some weird far out dream now. My life feels like one of those horrific nightmares you can’t pull out of, but it’s not my life is it. I’m just stuck in the shadows of these memories and i can run like Indy from a boulder but i just can’t seem to shake this…

I really hope you never see this because i said I’m trying to sort my head out…. but bleugh i need to speak my mind somewhere i guess, sick of holding it all in. annoyed at hating myself, letting you go and most of all loving you…


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