Better the Devil you know
How do you feel? I feel fine thank you for asking! What to do, what to do, what to do…. i feel like pacing, i’m in a considerable pacing mood for the time being. I’m am in no such way refereeing to myself as a loser yet i seem to be losing at a large quantity of aspects in life and quite badly to the extent i’m at a loss for words. Why do i care what people think! I never used to and yet all of a sudden *WHOOSH* for some reason i let it dictate how i think and feel, i think i’m more annoyed at the face i was given advice from someone i care about and i hated the answer they gave me. Why? i hear you ask, well that would be because she said everything i didn’t want to hear and at the same time everything i needed to hear, she told me the truth. I, myself am not a big fan of the truth as usually it hurts and this didn’t hurt, it made me think and that is possibly worse, thinking is worse than hurting because at least hurting the pain eventually dies out. It is at this stage i forget what was the point in all of the above and i guess the answer is i’m trying to tell myself to listen as one thing i have learnt over the years is i am very VERY good at ignoring good advice, i always think i know best and what’s right so i rush into things head first and ignore the consequences. The problem now being how to change things for the better and use that advice and the reason for writing this is because even now i want to go against it, what to do, what to do, what to do?