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Optimistic Sunshine

I just wanna run really fast, i mean REALLY fast away from everything! i mean everything is so screwed up it’s quite funny how unbelievably crazy i am these days, i constantly complain about being single, i keep falling for almost everyone including someone i consider my bestfriend (Relax, she’s a she) and yet when something good does come my way i get all caught up by how others view it and how it isn’t how things should work. I say all this and complain because i still don’t feel exactly comfortable whenever i get close to acting all romantically with a person i feel all claustrophobic and just want out! I can’t tell if that’s just the kind of guy i am, it’s some kind of weird intergalactic signal saying she’s not the right one or i’m a surprisingly massive idiot, hmmmmm i think this needs some serious pondering. I have this really bad feeling that whatever i do will be the wrong thing and so it makes me look like a jerk (Wait you already knew i was a jerk, my apologies) and because of it i act like a yo-yo saying a like so-and-so and to someone that made me look like a real jackass to be honest. Basically here’s the thing am i an idiot for believing in love at first sight and waiting for that one person to appear in my life or am i just some crazy optimist who needs to realize the world is a cruel twisted place and that’s never going to happen. Part of me things the second option is real but then again i have friends (I know right? HE has friends?!?!) who really are madly in love and have been before so i ask you people of the world am i an idiot for being a romantic optimist?

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